Finding My Dream

Hello, and welcome to my first ever blog post! Just a little bit about me (if you haven’t seen my about page…if you haven’t you should check it out… wink wink.) I am an aspiring freelance designer. I love to draw, write, and is willing to try out anything creative. I live in Ankeny, Iowa and I am currently enrolled at Des Moines Area Community College in Ankeny (DMACC for short). There I am going for a Graphic Design AAS degree and a certificate in Digital Marketing. As well as going to school, I am also a full time barista who can’t fully function until I’ve had a cup of coffee, sometimes two depending on the day.

Reading that first paragraph one might think that I somewhat have my life figured out. I am here to inform you that I am nowhere near that point. Every day I catch myself thinking back on how I managed to survive this far and realize how far I still have to go in this crazy thing we call life. But isn’t that what life is about… figuring what the hell we are doing? It’s funny, ever since I was younger I have always envied the people who know early on what they were doing in life. The people who knew what their purpose in life was and stuck with it. I was, still, and never will be that  type of person, and I have come to accept that.  The only thing that I knew for sure is that whatever purpose I am put here on, it is to do something creatively.  

“The meaning in life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” – Pablo Picasso

Early Childhood Dreams

In early elementary I excelled more in English and Art than Math and Science, and found myself really enjoying writing. Books were always a get away from me so I first thought that I would become a writer. I also enjoyed going to bookstores, so for a while I played with the idea of opening up my own bookstore. I had a plan of exactly how I wanted to have my bookstore from the theme to even having a cafe inside of it but somehow was turned away from the idea in middle school.

The dream of opening up my own bookstore will always be in my mind, one can have multiple dreams right? You can’t just decide on one and stick with it forever. Dreams come and go as you grow older and gain more experiences. It took me a long time to realize that and really accept it. Even throughout high school and even early adulthood  switching from one career choice to another that once chosen I had to stick with it and that would be it. I found myself getting down on myself for changing a career path multiple times. And let me tell you, there have been many changes in career paths. From owning a bookstore to being a school teacher. A cake decorator to being an actress.  All were good career paths, but none were right for me.

Straying Away From My Dream

After high school, instead of going straight to college like my fellow classmates, I went straight into the workforce with retail. I still really wanted to go to school (even if I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life), so I worked extra hard to save as much money as I could.

A couple years past and I still found myself working in retail (working two jobs now) and still not going to school. Every time I got close to being in a classroom, life would always find a way to get in the way. I started to feel discouraged, and found myself playing with the idea of giving up on going to school and trying to move up to management in retail. For a while I tried to work my way up in management. I sucked up to all of the managers and showed them I was management material. But every time a management position came up that I tried to get, I was rejected saying things like “You have the right job traits we are looking for but you aren’t ready yet.”

This went on for a couple of years and I felt myself being more discouraged than ever in my life calling. I was giving up on hope for myself, I was convinced I was going to be trapped in retail not going anywhere forever and had to sit myself down. But instead of thinking of a plan, I found myself doodling on the side of my paper instead. The next thing I knew ideas for drawings and writing came flowing and I was overwhelmed with inspiration. My love for being creative was rekindling again. That’s when I realized that I had drawn away from my true calling. What made me think I would enjoy being a manager in retail… the extra money? The only reason why I wanted the extra money is to go back to school.

Back on the School Wagon

Back on the school wagon again, there was still hope for me yet, but not quite. I still didn’t know what I wanted to major in. I didn’t want to make a decision just to change it spending more money (did I mention I pay for college all on my own out of pocket??). All I knew is that I wanted to do something creatively. There were so many hobbies I enjoyed doing but which one could go from just being a hobby to a career? From my retail experience I found a spark of interest in the marketing side of the company so now there was that to consider as well. I did research and a lot of soul searching and finally came across the Graphic Design program at my community college. I heard about the program once before when I first started looking into college but it didn’t grab my attention until now.

So with a chosen program I finally decided that the only way to get into school was just do it. So in the summer of 2015 I finally enrolled in a couple of classes. I still was interested in marketing but couldn’t fit another degree into my busy schedule on top of having my two jobs and the full class schedule for Graphic Design so when DMACC announced the start of the new Digital Marketing Certificate, I was excited.

Birth of a Website/Blog

After graduating, I had the original thought of going into a marketing agency as a designer but in my intro class to Digital Marketing I learned about the world of freelancing and fell in love with the idea of being your own boss. This past summer I decided not to do any classes since I needed a break after taking on a full school schedule and a full workload. I thought that by taking a break from classes I would just have to worry about work and be able to have a life again. But without school (I can’t believe I’m admitting this) but I actually missed the homework… or having something to work on creatively in better terms. I needed something to fulfill that empty space inside of me. And thus katarinastarkinfo was born!

There are multiple reasons I created katarinastarkinfo (or doodles.by.kat for social media). Not only did working on a website was giving me something to work on over the summer, but it was also giving me motivation to write and draw. Many times I have tried to start up something like this whether it was a blog or even a Youtube channel where I would video blog (or vlog) but failed to work on them or lost motivation. This time around I feel with the help of school I have a little more motivation. Who knows… maybe one day I’ll start up a Youtube channel again and actually have content to put on it.

Welcome to the Dream

Until then I am very excited to put not only my work out and get my name out, but be able to combine all of my hobbies and interests into one website/blog! I hope you all enjoy what I have to say and I can’t wait to see where this goes. So from the bottom of my heart, I not only thank you for reading this but welcome you to my dream. Here not only will I talk about my life but also things that interest me whether it is something creative, through beauty, fashion, books, whatever I feel inspired to write about! I invite you to hop along with me as I go through this creative journey, I am still in school, so a lot of things are going to be a hit or miss until I fully figure things out, but hey isn’t that the fun part? If you have any ideas for any doodles or blog posts, please let me know!

Until next time, I hope you all have a wonderful week and I will see you here again soon!

XOXO

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